Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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