They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
