I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize
