I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
