um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
