we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
