I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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