i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
