I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
