Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
