On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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