We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The Olympian is in my bed
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
