I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
There was a lot of him and a little penis
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
