i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
