They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I want to fling myself into the sun
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
