we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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