I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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