I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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