you turned your livingroom into a bong?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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