I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
