I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
