He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
