I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
me + whiskey = a bad person
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
