i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
