I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
