Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I can't put those talents on a resume
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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