Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
