i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
