this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
