guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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