Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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