And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
