So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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