Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
