i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
