If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
