Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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