I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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