My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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