using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
