i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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