Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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