Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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