you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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