Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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