ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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