It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you win again, gameday.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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