She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
