): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
