I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
