I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
