i would punch a child for taco bell
Quick, to the slutcave!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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